Everybody do the limbo!

   The theme of my life seems to be limbo. Not the kind where you try to pass under a low stick. No, I am thinking of the other kind of limbo, the kind where you are stuck in between one world and another. It all started a few years ago. I had this uneasy, restless feeling for a while and then one day I realized I was in a transition period, the kind where you can't really make a move until an important event occurs, so you are literally stuck waiting. Of course, I went on with daily life, and waited, because that was the only choice I had. Then the thing happened that needed to, and I could move on to the next round. See, I was young and naive because I thought that was it. Now, I realize that as soon as one period of limbo ends, it is really just the beginning of another. Sometimes I think "Gawd I hate being stuck! I hate waiting, when will this end?" Then I remember all of the times I thought I was past a point and moving forward, when yet another obstacle landed in my path and I had to wait for the situation to resolve before I could continue on my way.
   Life is Limbo. Life is waiting for this phase to be over, to start the next, which in turn is in itself just the waiting period for the next thing. This doesn't make the waiting any more tolerable, but at least I have some perspective. At least I understand that its not the waiting that really drives me insane, it is simply the not knowing the result of everything. Sometimes even, it is knowing the result, but knowing there is nothing you can do to get there any faster. But like I said, this is life. I am in another limbo right now, a sort of stalemate. I cannot do what I want because I might have an important obligation on the near horizon, a job that, if I get it, would be a financial godsend. And yes, I would enjoy it, but it would seriously take away from my ability to continue doing my own work. However, I know that if I do not get the job, I can just go back to my plan A, which is to run the circuit of markets and craft fairs, making and selling the things I love to make and sell. I just won't really be able to make as much money doing that as I could with this job... and I certainly would not have benefits, such as the big I, insurance, which I desperately need ASAP... So, in the meantime, I am waiting to find out if I have an interview or not, and then waiting to find out if I have the job, and then perhaps more waiting until I start it. I cannot commit to doing anything else until I know the outcome of this, so I cannot get into more markets or anything... I think you get the picture. It is very frustrating, but it is something I should be used to by now.
   Life rarely goes as planned, and I am certainly not where I thought I would be at 25, partly because of my own decisions, and partly because of circumstances that are out of my control (*ahem* crappy economy). I also know I am not the only one for whom plans have come to a screeching halt, or at least been derailed or postponed. But please, do not get me wrong, I am not ranting pessimistically about how much it sucks that things are not what I had hoped for. In many ways, they are so much more than what I could have ever predicted. I am really trying to instill some hope, in myself, but also in anyone who reads this who can relate. You aren't alone, I am not alone, this is a universal conundrum. For now, all any of us can do is take it one day at a time and do the best we can to not go crazy wondering how it is all going to turn out, because none of us know until it happens, and it just takes patience.
Sigh... If you have made it this far, goodnight, and good luck.
-C

Final Makeover (for now)

Well, here it is folks, the renovated Corinnebeans & Applesauce blog! What do you think? I spent hours last night working on the last design, and today it only took me about an hour and a half. I think that means this is the right one. Nothing seemed quite right last night. I changed the font to a more legible one, despite my love for handwritten-esque fonts. Not to say I do not like this one, but like I said, I tend to make things too busy and complex on the first run. Aside from changing the background and banner, everything else is basically the same.
This blogging stuff is bringing me back to the days of Livejournal. Good ol' LJ... I suppose it is basically the same thing, only matured, kinda like me. If I went back and read those old posts from when I was in high school I would most likely want to punch myself in the face. But that's how it goes, you grow, change, learn the art of subtlety and timing, all the great stuff that comes with getting old. Speaking of getting old, I need to get off this computer because it is hurting my eyes. Oy, my aching tuchus! Until next time.
-C

Why am I still up?!

I have been working on the design of this blog, namely the banner, for a while now. Gone through several different designs, and for now settled on this, mainly because it is almost 4:30 a.m. and Jack is in the bedroom playing on his phone waiting for me to finish. So, tomorrow, who knows what this thing will look like. I am not happy with it, but this is it for now. I tend to simplify things each time I revisit them. After a few makeovers, I may end up with just a white everything! Not really of course, but it is late and I am a bit punchy... In the meantime, please feel free to offer me any advice on the aesthetics, and do tell me if the font is truly ridiculous. I like the handwritten feel, even though underneath it all I know I should use some simple sans serif piece of blah for legibility. Ok, well, now Jack has emerged from the room and is glaring at me, so time for bed!
-C

Losing my Blog V

This is my first blog. I cannot promise much, except a lot of nonsense about my husband's flatulence and our crazy cat, how much I love fabric, and maybe even sometimes what I made for dinner. If you know me, this is to be expected. If you do not, I apologize, and will not blame you for passing over me like a summer storm.
Until I have something worth writing about,
Corinnebeans